?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Badula

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
11:25 pm: almanac

Adam and Eve, according to the Book of Genesis, first man and woman created by God, and the last humans made personally by the Allmighty Himself until 1976, when He made La Porte, Indiana, resident Jery Dunnigan out of clay just to see if He could still do it.

Abacus, beaded manual counting device invented by ancient Sumerians to screw customers out of a fair price.

Acupuncture, ancient Chinese system whose practitioners compete to see how many tiny needles they can insert into a patient's skin before they are asked just what the fuck is going on here.

Adulthood, period following adolescence in which one has figured out in explicit detail exactly what one wants to do with one's life, is always in control of every situation, and consistently takes the appropriate actions to realize that which is necessary to bring about a lifetime of happiness and personal fulfillment.

Alcohol, organic compound that can transform any physical surface into a bed, toilet, or, when consumed in high enough volumes, both. Through a complex chemical process alcohol is able to change a concrete parking lot into a feather down king-sized mattress, or a hall closet into a fully functional bathroom with working commode. Alcohol in its various forms has additional transformative properties, including the ability to change garbled, incoherent ramblings into valid arguments, and to initiate a subtle process by which members of the same sex are metamorphosed over the course of an evening into members of the opposite sex.



Powered by LiveJournal.com